A slice of summer

It is 12:16 and I'm having trouble sleeping.
I know I SHOULD be in bed asleep, really I do...
It is just that...
I give the dreaded STAAR test again tomorrow.  I'm teaching summer school this year, you see; working with my students who have not been successful in their first 2 attempts to pass this test and therefore move forward from 8th grade to 9th.

I feel anxious for them.  I feel anxious for myself (moment of truth: I feel rather like a tiger in a cage when it comes to testing. I don't function optimally in a typically chilly, closed off, weirdly quiet, anxiety-filled environment, but maybe that's just me.)

I care about these students.  I worry for them.  Some of them have stories that would break your heart, and some of them just aren't great test takers.  I have several that "don't like to read" and many whose first language is not English.  They are each filled with talents and hopes and dreams that this test cannot possibly begin to measure.

At the beginning of our time together I asked the students to read for 20-30 minutes per night--anything of their choice.  I have less than a handful who have actually done it.  Some of them want to but find it hard to fit in their schedule (babysitting 7 kids by yourself, one a baby, for example makes it rather difficult).  Some struggle so much they have just about given up.

I hope they are having less trouble getting to sleep tonight than I am.  I hope they eat something healthy and protein-packed in the morning to get them through a 4 hour exam.  I hope that they do not judge themselves totally on the outcome of this test and I hope they take it seriously enough to really give it their best.

These tests trouble me for so many reasons.  I get that there must be a measure of what is learned--but the magnitude of importance placed on these tests is beyond my comprehension.
What are we doing to our children?

Wonder Women, Pirates & Rock Stars

this gorgeous artwork can be found HERE.

Sometimes the planets align just so and a rare cosmic event occurs that inspires the mind and thrills the soul.  Or something like that. 

I have had just such a series of events in my life lately.

1. Conversation with lovely friends at my latest writers group meeting.

2.  I began reading Teach Like a Pirate by Dave Burgess (love this book!)

3.  Ran across the oh-so-fabulous art while scrolling through my Facebook feed.
4.  Nancy Jo Lambert began a new Twitter hashtag about sharing your library stories #TYSLib (read more about that HERE)

And then IT HIT ME.

The beautiful, glorious, challenging TRUTH in life is...we are ALL Wonder Women (or Super Men) & we can all be Pirates and Rock Stars. 

Like most folks, this is not a new truth for me to have discovered, but I seem to need to be reminded of this particular truth every now and then.  Such a when I'm closing out my last year as a longtime middle school librarian and entering a totally new exciting (yet slightly terrifying) new journey as a high school librarian. ;)

a bit of backstory, if I may...

A few nights ago I was sitting in my favorite chair in the living room talking to my husband.  It was getting late, and I had just come in from moving a load of boxes into my living room from my office.  I was tired, hot, sweaty and badly in need of a giant-sized Mason jar of sweet tea and a foot rub. 

I was feeling a bit defeated, if you want to know the truth.  My personal belongings had somehow multiplied while living in my office and while I had assured my hubby on my way out the door that this would be the last trip, it indeed would not be.  Not only that, but I still had to make a trip into the office to finalize some paperwork.  And a new box of books had just arrived to be processed.  And...well, you get the picture.

Apparently I get melancholy when tired, hot, and sweaty with loads of work looming and few days to get it all done.  I began to list to my husband all the reasons I was afraid I wouldn't be successful in this new endeavor. To go back to Wonder Woman, I had forgotten that I possess bullet-proof bracelets.  

He listened patiently (well, full disclosure--he IS a counselor, after all.  he listens patiently professionally, so he is quite good at it), waited for me to finish and then just looked at me and asked some very simple questions.  Questions that got me to calm down & reflect & realize that even with the learning curve that comes with every something new--I'VE.GOT.THIS.  (and you do, too!)

I've got this because I care. I have passion for what I do. I LOVE learning new things and taking on new challenges. I've got this because I know down deep that every "failure" is leading me to success if I have the right mindset. If I remember my true identity as an Amazon warrior with bullet-proof bracelets..

One of the things I had become quite nervous about was filling my predecessor's shoes when it comes to organization and systems. She was a MASTER organizer, let me tell you.  Color-coded everything type of gal. MAD skills in this arena.

I tend to be a bit more...

Around here I'm known more for my impromptu bursts into song and my over-the-top displays and my love for matching readers with books they will love than for a beautifully color-coded organizational system.

After my epiphany I realize that while she definitely had her gifts and talents, so do I.  And it is OKAY if they are not exactly the same.  It doesn't make either one of us less.  

My good friend who is taking my current spot next year has shared that she feels the same way about stepping into "my" spot.

She says it will be hard to follow a rock star.  I get it.  I really do.
But what she is forgetting is that SHE is a rock star, too.

I got to thinking about this late last night and I realized that out of all the librarians in my school district there are really none of us that have the same particular gifts/talents/skill sets.  I mean, yes, we all know how to do the craft that is library work, but each of us approaches things in such a different (yet equally beautiful) manner.

As my brilliant friend Julie said at our writers group gathering Tuesday night---there is room for both Billy Joel and Elton.  They are BOTH rock stars even though they have vastly different styles.

If what you are doing is WORKING,
If kids are IN your library and WANT to be there,
If you are passionate about what you do and you share that with your students and teachers,
If your library is a hopping hub and heart of the school,
That's what is important, no matter your exact style.

Be YOU and be open to learning from others.  Be YOU and be open to sharing what you know with others. Not everything you learn or share will be an exact match for you, but if you are open to it, you just take what DOES work, tweak it and make it your own.

Remember your bracelets.  Remember your eye patch.  Remember the roar of the crowd.
Because YOU are Wonder Women, Pirates, and Rock Stars, people. 
Now go out there and be AMAZING.

Be BOLD!

It is the weekend after school has officially let out.  I have now brought several loads of crap boxes of stuff home from the library.  It is currently all living in my living room.  I am not done yet, but I am getting very, very close!

It feels really good to dig through my office & library belongings; to cull down and box up, as I prepare the space for my replacement (who just happens to be one of my best friends as well as a colleague!).  I feel BOLD.  I feel COURAGEOUS.  I am excited about this new adventure.

At the end of each school year I always spend a bit of time in reflection.  Have I accomplished my goals?  What can I improve for next year?  How can I better reach my students?  How can I better help my teachers?  This year I have the opportunity to reflect upon not only the 2013-2014 school year, but the past 11 years as a middle school librarian. 

Accomplishments:

1. I am so very proud of my time bringing both One Book, One School and Read-It-Forward to my library.  We have had some amazing author visits and kids who have never owned their own books before now DO. 

2. Teen Read Week celebrations have been a highlight.  I've had the opportunity to partner with various community members and organizations.  The Ellen Trout Zoo in Lufkin, Texas has been especially good to me through the years---always coming up with amazing lessons to fit the theme and bringing interesting animals to visit the library.  I will be forever grateful!

3. I leave a collection that is rated Exemplary according to TEA standards of age and size.  It has taken YEARS to get to this point, but I'm so very proud.

4.  My library has a great reputation for being a warm, welcoming place.  

5.  The relationships I've built with students and faculty are my most prized accomplishments.  I am thankful for each and every teacher that has allowed me to collaborate with them and has shared his or her students with me.  I am thankful for every student who has crossed my path.  I've learned so much from each and every one of them.

Things to improve upon:

1. Patience with myself in learning curve situations.  I still suffer from Superwoman syndrome a bit, I'm afraid.  

2. Did you read my very first paragraph?  I have too.much.stuff.  I really do.  It is true that I have stored all my library display items, gifted & talented, AND Girl Scout stuff in my library office---but I do plan to really work on paring down my stuff.  It is a new chance to be more zen about belongings. With that stated, there is something to be said for having just about anything anyone needs----from craft supplies when forgotten-but-due-today projects are remembered by my students to oh-my-gosh-my-zipper-just-broke safety pins (I cannot tell you how many kiddos have needed these over the years).  

If I were sticking around the middle school, I'd have many things to add to a 3rd section of these reflective lists titled:  Still to be completed, but since I'm moving on up to the high school, I'm skipping that portion and adding a new one instead----a wish list, a dream list, a oh-boy-I-need-to-learn-this and a wowza-wonder-if-this-would-work list.