field trip

Day 26 of the Slice of Life challenge.

Daughter-the-eldest had a field trip today. 

Two buses going to the same place.

3 hours one way.

All her friends on the other bus.  

They are all together.

She is alone.

She is 12.  Middle School.  Hard years. 

Figuring out who she is. Trying to find her place, her tribe.

I picked her up just now.  

I saw her birthday twin & best friend since the age of 3 

Walking with someone else. 

They shared a seat today on the other bus

While my kid sat alone in a seat all by herself.

How was the trip? I asked when she got in the car.

Boring. she said.

I sat by myself. 

I tried to text them on the bus

None of them texted back.

She doesn't tear up

But I do.

I try not to let her see.

She tells me that yesterday morning

When she got to school 

She walked to their table 

And said hello

The other girls didn't say hello back.

It has begun, I see.

The inevitable shift that happens in middle school.

I lived it myself

I taught through it for years

But this is my kid

And she is hurting

And I want to fix it

But I can't.

She is not a dainty darling

She is larger-than-life

Brimming with brilliance

And loud-and-proud

And funny as all get-out 

And strong-willed

And courageous

Traits that are not always prized in middle school 

By friends or teachers either, if I am truthful.

I know this from experience

I was that kid, too.

It took me a long time 

to truly appreciate my gifts

instead of letting comparison steal my joy

I had hoped (foolishly, I know) she would not 

Have to live it herself

But we all do

Don't we?