'Tis a gift to be simple? {solsc day 26}

I constantly find myself being of two minds.  There's the ever-striving, seek to do more, be more portion; my fully Orange, fully extrovert, fully YES side. And then there's my hobbitish, breathe-in/breathe-out, simply being is enough portion; my fully Blue, mostly introvert, Perhaps & Maybe, but Probably Not side.

Both of these describe me. I need both to be healthy and whole.  The older I get the more I fall into the hobbitish side. This is probably true for many folks.

A friend of mine posted an essay on Facebook recently.  It is called "What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life." It speaks to me.

While I don't love the word mediocre --who wants to be mediocre?--I do get the title and this particular word choice, but I would substitute the word simple or maybe quiet.

Is it harder to be okay with simple as an American?  Are we, the descendants of those who trekked across the globe in search of a new life, "The American Dream,"even allowed to now just want simple? I don't know. Having never lived anywhere else, I can't fully answer the questions I pose.

I know in many circles it is seen as a waste for a smart person who is capable of so much to end up doing so little.  Go Big or Go Home.  Be a WINNER!  Most Successful of her graduating class probably isn't talking about inner peace & feeling satisfied at the end of your day.

Even among educators the ones who stay at school until all hours are the ones who are seen as most dedicated.  Everyone should go to college.  Don't encourage your kids to become teachers---they'll never make a living. My kid is going to a top-tier school. Top of his class! National Honor Society! Honk if you love your Honor Student! I was there until 10 last night! #lifeofateacher

And there is part of me that totally gets it.

I'm a Slytherin, an Aries, a first-born child. I enjoy the spotlight.  I love it when people think I'm smart/talented/whatever. It makes me feel good to win awards or have a great reputation in town that I'm awesome at what I do. I love the stage.  I love applause.  I love the rush of making the deal/fixing the problem/being the hero.

But the other part is yearning for simple.

I love a rainy Sunday spent making soup and reading books.  A beautiful morning drinking coffee and writing.  A quiet evening at home grilling on the patio and taking in the stars.

I haven't written the bestseller, my name is not up in lights.  I wear no crown and have no illustrious title.  I don't have a six-figure income and my blog posts don't go viral.  I don't encourage folks to cash me outside how 'bout dat, so no TV appearances or viral music videos. Like the woman in the essay, my house isn't always tidy and I'm not a competitive mommy.

Most of the time I am okay with all the above.
I'm not even saying it is better to live a simple life, a quiet life.
I take no moral high ground on this.

I just think we (I?) need to wrap my head around the idea that one's life isn't better, isn't more important, isn't what one should or must aspire to by being famous or busy or high-profile---because while I believe this, I still carry with me the strive, strive, strive to do more/be more.

William Shakespeare and Jane Austen both lived amazing lives.  My neighbor across the street whose name none of you will ever read in a history book has, as well. He matters to those in his circle.  And who knows the positive ripple effects that one living a simple life can make?

I have a former student who is now a grown woman.  She is a total genius--so, so smart and an amazing artist, to boot.  She has a college degree.  She wants to be a wife and a mom.  She wants to be a homemaker.  To cook, to make art around the house, to read stories to her babies and take them to the park.  THIS is her dream.  Sometimes her friends, extended family and well-meaning former teachers make her feel that this dream is not okay.  That wanting to raise a family is not enough.  I mean, it would be fine if she wasn't so smart and so talented.  But she should want more for herself and she should give more to the world.  So, we don't want smart, talented moms?  Only smart, talented CEOs.

THIS is where I find the striving particularly problematic---because while I never said anything aloud, in the past I have been just as guilty of this thinking.

I have no answers to finding balance within myself.
I'm a work in progress, and actually really okay with that.

Here's to simple, quiet lives and here's to those more complicated.
May we all do the best we can do to be the change we wish to see in the world.
And may we all seek to work on ourselves rather than judging the choices of others.