Yep, that's the kinda gal I am, I suppose. A planner. A do-er. A more-interests-than-I-possibly-have-time-to-complete kinda gal.
I really, really wish I was a spontaneous, totally live in the moment girl sometimes. I kept thinking I might turn into one, but at 41 I'm beginning to come to grips with who I am vs. who I sometimes want to be. Sort of.
Lately I've read a book or two that have really spoken to this element of my personality.
One of them, The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison, felt like a series of conversations with a long-distance, but long-time friend. Now, I've owned this book for a while but have been so caught up reading YA lit for my work (okay, my pleasure, too) that it has remained in my to-be-read stack for quite some time. I finally allowed myself some grown up reading time---feeling a little like I was cheating on my YA loves----and I loved it.
After re-reading Eat,Pray, Love followed by The Gift of an Ordinary Day, I have these questions floating in my head:
- What does it really mean to accept yourself and love yourself where you are? Not any trite answers...I mean, how does one really get to that place and stay there? Is that even possible?
- How do you improve yourself while at the same time carving out time to meditate, think, and be?
- How do these two ideas fit together? I mean...accept yourself AND improve yourself? Really?
'Cause here's the thing...I'm a striver by nature. I'm from solid Puritan stock from way back. Seriously.
I believe in the American Dream and my parents instilled an incredible work ethic. For all of these things I am grateful. And yet..
I feel in my soul a need for quiet meditative/reflective time. I know in my heart that my life is filled with many blessings: a great family of origin, a wonderful husband, two adorable kiddos, a job that makes my heart sing, an awesome church and friends and activities that are fulfilling.
I also know that I have master's degree debt to be worked off, Girl Scout activities to plan, a perpetually messy house and more than a few pounds I'd like to lose.
But, I did leave work on time yesterday and got a pedicure before picking up my youngest. I didn't have an appointment. I just walked on in.
*a side note here to mention that it has been over 2 years since my last real pedi--I was preggo with baby girl when I got it, and the fella at the nail salon was cussing me in Vietnamese for my horrid heels...but honey, my feet do look gooooood today! ;) *
Let's call that a start.
visit http://www.katrinakenison.com/ for more info on The Gift of an Ordinary Day.
Read on, gentle readers. Read on.