All Good Things

We've made it to the final day of March, folks.  Every time I participate in this challenge I learn so much, both from the experience of daily writing and from reading all the wonderful slices being shared by participants. It expands my world. 

One takeaway is to keep the daily writing habit going.There were a couple of days I knew I was just getting some words down; a short SFD, if you will.  That's okay---I wrote.  I made the commitment and I stuck to it.  (It's okay if you had a different goal--but this was mine, and I'm proud I did it.) It created a disciplined daily habit that serves me far better than "waiting for my muse."

I met amazing people.  I met you through you beautiful, funny, bittersweet, painful words.  I met you in your day-to-day.  I met you in your family's past.  I met you on the page. You all inspire me more than you might know. Reading and commenting on the slices gave ME so much.  Thank you for fearlessly sharing yourselves in this way. 

I thank each of you who took the time to read my posts, and I thank each of you who commented.  As I wrote about in one slice, writers write to share/connect/communicate.  It is soul-nourishing to know something I wrote meant something to  you. It spurs me onward. 

April brings Camp NaNoWriMo, my carrot for daily writing in April.  My blog goes back to its normal library-entric self, the greatest librarian conference (the Texas Library Association's conference, known simply as TLA)will whisk me from my daily life and off into the fabulous world of all things bookish & techie, and I'll mark another year walking this fine planet of ours. April will be busy and wonderful and filled with adventures to inspire writing. 

I feel as though I'm leaving summer camp and want to hug all my new friends goodbye and tell you I can't wait to see you again next year.

 

End of the Year Haiku

The final new books 

Packed tightly in brown boxes

Christmas every day.

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Kids these days

I have the best job in the universe.  For real.

One of the questions I'm asked most is Are those kids at the high school just awful?  You know kids these days. 

Yep.  I do know kids these days.  Every day I see kids who...

• care about their grades, their friends, their future.
• "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" me all day long. (yep, here in Texas that is respectful.)
• make me laugh every.single.day.
• help one another through tough times. 
• check on me with "how was your weekend?" and "how are your little girls doing?"
• are respectful to those who are respectful to them.
• worry they are not enough
• work hard, sometimes with 2 jobs and a baby on top of school
• need validation
• want to know you believe in them
• ask for book recommendations because they love to read
• hold open doors for teachers carrying heavy loads
• are curious and want to learn about things that interest them
• want so much to fit in
• want so much to stand out.

I could go on and on.  I love my kids and I am blessed to work with these big ole teenage precious peaches.  How lucky am I?

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Seasons & Shoulds

Some things have been weighing heavily on my mind lately. 

Things that tap into my perfectionistic tendencies and my desire to be a flippin' awesome librarian (well, truth be told, a flippin' awesome everything--again, with the perfectionism, right? but I digress...)

It started with little whispers that floated on the periphery of my subconscious. 

That little voice that I knew I should be still and listen to----but I chose to stuff it, to tell it to hush up; I chose the facade. 

We have a great new librarian in my district, struggling with some difficult obstacles to overcome. Much of it out of her control. She knows what she should be doing...but is stifled. I didn't realize until she texted me after a meeting that she left every district librarian meeting in tears because "we were all doing these amazing things" and she couldn't. 

No worries, truthful reassurances were given.  At our next meeting, I mentioned the "Facebook Effect"--you know--how we put our awesome stuff up (I mean, of course, right?) but not our hard moments, our gaffes, our worries.  

Our shoulds. Our shame at not being enough. 

And I'm not suggesting you start doing that, but I am suggesting that we all get really REAL that this is what is truth.  

Because we all feel this at some point.  Some of us may feel that a lot.  You know, if you have perfectionistic tendencies and a desire to be flippin' awesome you may feel this every.second.of.the.day. unless you practice mindfulness.  Not that I would know personally, or anything. (yeah, right!)

I felt it at the last conference I attended.  I feel it when I read the blogs/tweets/inst-posts of my library gurus and my rockin' PLN. 

I mostly keep very, very quiet about this feeling that no matter what amazing things I'm doing, I should be doing more, and doing it better, smarter, & more fabulously. 

And then yesterday someone tweeted this article written by one of my library gurus.  One of the most flippin' awesome librarians ever. I am by no means a Type A.  But I am passionately driven when it comes to my life's work, and so I need this reminder that no one can do it all perfectly all the time.  

I think this is actually becoming more important for us to recognize as truth than ever before due to that "Facebook Effect" that has become pervasive in our society.  We need to remember to add this to our conversations, our speaking events, our sharing of ideas. 

We can do it all---but not at the same time to the same level.  That just isn't reality for the long-haul, it is a cause of burnout. No one can.  

No one wants to feel like Atlas, always struggling and never succeeding. 

Let's remember to lift one another up in this way, friends. 

YES to learning/sharing/growing/trying new things/becoming every better---with the mindfulness to remember you are enough and that to every thing there is a season.  

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Fancy China

I used my fancy china today.  

This may not sound like any big deal, and I suppose in the big scheme of things it isn't, I mean loads of folks use their fancy china on holidays, right?

Except that I never do. Never did.

I always told myself I would, but then it just seemed like too much work for very little reward.  

I am working towards making some changes in my life---changes that will move me to living the way I want to live.  Some of the changes are large and some are smaller.

Sometimes, changes that seem small, however, can cause a big shift.  

Today was one of those days; it was a gift to myself. 

I used my fancy china today and it made everything a bit more beautiful. 

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Preparing

Menus have been planned, shopping has been completed (well, except for those darn rolls I forgot to pick up), eggs have been boiled.

Baskets have been located, brightly colored crinkled-paper "grass" has been purchased, chocolates in the shapes of sweet bunnies and lambs have been  hidden in my secret hiding spots. 

Beautiful dresses in lovely pastels have been chosen along with a pair of light pink slightly-high-heel shoes that are the teensiest bit too big fit just right according to daughter-the-youngest (its okay--I knew she was a goner the moment she laid eyes on them)

Rolls have *finally* been tracked down and now sit in a place of honor on the table so they won't also be forgotten for tomorrow's dinner.

After writing this a hashbrown casserole and a lemon tarte will be made. Those eggs will be dyed. Tulips will adorn the table and we will be ready for tomorrow. 

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Pancit

Daughter-the-eldest recently had a really cool project in her Texas History class.  It was a multi-part project regarding groups of people who moved to Texas from other parts of the world.  One portion of this project dealt with food made in particular countries/cultures.  

The country she received was the Philippines. In a case of auspicious coincidence, I had just had a conversation with one of my students about her Filipino grandmother and her favorite dishes to make about two days before we were assigned this project. 

So I was given a recipe and I made the dish for daughter-the-eldest to take to school for their class Tastes of Texas day.  Oh, the heavenly smells!  In all this I really never expected to find such a delicious and easy-to-make dish.  Everyone in the family became a fan--so much so that tonight I repeated this recipe for our family dinner. You can find an easy version of it here if you care to try it yourself!

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Growing Pains

I started the conversation years ago, really. I mentioned off and on again, oh-so-casually that oftentimes as you go through middle school and high school friends drift apart as they find themselves growing into different people. 

It is easier to begin that conversation than to watch the truth of it unfold.

They haven't had a fight, they just don't talk much anymore. 

They haven't wanted to get together---no mention of sleepovers or shopping or movies in a while.

Their paths have just begun to diverge. 

One is quiet & bookish, into her fandoms and her shows. 

Mine?  Not so much. 

Mine is the ultimate extrovert.  Naturally loud. Loves music, shopping, make-up, & her phone. 

Honestly, I think I am having a harder time with this than either of the girls, although I catch a twinge of sadness in daughter-the-eldest's voice when I ask about her besties-since-pre-K, birthday twin. It is difficult to know that there is no going around this experience--one must simply go through it--there is no other option.  Sometimes that's just the way of things.  

"She will always be important to me.  We will always be friends, we just aren't really best friends anymore, Mom," I'm told.

"No, we haven't really talked about it, but we both know.  She has someone really nice she talks with all the time, now.  They have a lot in common," she says.

I mourn the loss; they are each other's childhood.

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful,

Life is wonderous,

Every star above, 

is shining just for us

Life is beautiful, 

on a stormy night

Somewhere in the world,

the sun is shining bright.

Today was just such a good day!

This morning:

• before school, we were hopping in the library (okay, every morning, but still...)                         I love this. 
• was made even better because we started our Slytherin House Treasure Quest (egg hunt). My kids had a ball solving the riddles and finding the treasure. Kids in other Houses were joining in, along with kids not even in M.A.G.I.C. ---even knowing they wouldn't get the prizes.  The fun was enough!
• this made all other Houses jealous.  No lie, I love this, too.  (hey, I AM Slytherin Head of House!)
• I played with my new surround sound system in the library and it is AMAZING. (okay, so it isn't new--but knowing how to work it totally is as it was installed before I arrived and so...)
• this came in handy with our 1st-period speaker from the Air Force showing some really cool videos as part of his presentation to the swim team.
• I finally decided it is better to beg forgiveness than seek permission on a particular topic that-shall-not-be-named and...
• made a decision, put a plan into action, communicated this plan to my team, and...
• this made SUCH A HUGE POSITIVE DIFFERENCE in our day, which reminded me to...
• always go with your gut.  always.

This really did help me leave all my troubles all behind and have a party with my day.

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Night Owl

It is definitely not spring break any longer.

When left to my own devices, I revert naturally to my night-owl self. 

My body rhythms dictate this, but my job, alas, does not. 

We also lost an hour.

Ugh.

I feel most creative in the wee hours but cannot function without sleep.

And y'all, I love my sleep.

That alarm clock WILL sound at 5:07 in the morning and I will have to drag myself out of bed, no matter the time sleep finally comes and I will gird myself with coffee and prayers to make it through the day.

So here I am.  

UP. WIDE AWAKE. 

I've tried relaxing deep breathing.

I've tried reading.

I've tried meditation.

Nada.

So, here I am pouring out my slice and hoping, once emptied, my mind will seek rest.

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

13 is hard

Daughter-the-eldest is 13. 

13 is an interesting year. 

She vacillates between eye-rolling and heart-to-hearts, sometimes within a 10-minute span. 

Life is interesting these days as we both try to figure out how to navigate this new territory. 

In my work life, I'm everybody's school mama.  Kids come to me all day, not just for books & computers, but also for a non-judgemental listening ear and someone they know really cares. 

I am honored to be that person for so many.

At home, I am not quite as smart; not quite as witty; I'm real mama, and I get frustrated with eye-makeup remover left open on my vanity and used cotton swabs left near my sink. 

Neither of us is quiet, and both of us are so.much.alike, except that she is already taller than me by about 4 inches and 3 shoe sizes.

She is a Leo, I am an Aries.

We are both Slytherin. 

It goes without saying we butt heads on occasion. 

When she was little, I used to tell her each night that I love her beyond the moon and all the stars. 

That I love her more than all the all the water in the oceans.  That I love her more than chocolate.

I still do, but now, sometimes I tell her

To never let anyone tell her she is a yellow Starburst--

because she is a red ninja Starburst and not to forget it. 

Because 13 can be hard.

Because we are coming to the age where mama can't kiss the ouchies and make it all better. 

Oh, I want to do these next years right.  

I want to lift her and anchor her.

I want her to know her own self-worth and that of others.

I want her to have grit and tenderness.

I want her to be polite and take no crap.

I want her to know how very loved she will always be. 

Y'all, 13 is hard. 

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Commenting Challenge

The commenting challenge for Two Writing Teachers this weekend has the most incredible prize! I spent some time yesterday really looking into the Highlights Foundation and their writing camps, and wow...just WOW!  Unfortunately, I know I won't be able to attend any of them, due to commitments already made.  Because of that, I'm not keeping track of my comments and entering, but I'm still trying to comment on as many blogs as I can this weekend.  

Why? Because we as writers need it.  It feels good to know your words are reaching someone.  It is encouraging and it helps push us forward.  Do I write for myself?  Absolutely.  But I also absolutely write for my readers---otherwise, I could just write in one of my paper journals, couldn't I?

In every writer I know personally, there exists some anxiety, some doubt, and some desire for validation.   It's normal for my 6-year-old who excitedly shows me her new story and waits for my reaction.  It's normal for my seniors who want feedback on their new idea before it heads to workshop. It's normal for the published author who desires to hear from fans.  

We write to communicate, so it matters to us that our words are reaching someone. 

I mentioned it last year during the SOLSC, and I mention it again now, mostly because I need the reminder. It is so easy for me to read something wonderful or something that moves me, or something I find hysterical yet never let the writer know.  

This challenge reminds me just how lovely those comments are for writers.  It feels validating and supporting to receive them.  I know when I get them it spurs me onward, and when I don't--much as I hate to admit it--I really have to give myself a pep talk sometimes! 

Two Writing Teachers has given us this amazing community of writers, and I'm forever thankful. Now, I'm off to go read some amazing slices and leave some feedback.  I encourage you to do the same. 

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

We're all MAD here!

Celebrating the SFA Lumberjacks today!  If you watched last night's game against West Virginia, you know why.  What a win!  #Walkupisabeast 

Yes, March Madness is in full swing, and we are all mad here!

The skies shone purple in my little town last night.  The pride felt by all in Nac--not just the university folks. 

I moved to Nacogdoches originally to attend SFA. They have an amazing education program, and the small campus is lovely, filled with tall pines and great people. It just suits me, and it felt like I had come home.

Many folks have underestimated us. We are small. We have a meandering pace & a distinctive Texan drawl. We are located in the Piney Woods, closer to Louisiana than either Dallas or Houston. And...

we rock. 

The game last night was flippin' exciting from start to finish.  I love a good Cinderella story, and my Lumberjacks are definitely that.  

Side-by-side with my Lumberjack pride, these facts have me reflecting on my students. I want to remember that no matter how "small" or different they might appear to be, I want to make sure I don't count them out, that I don't underestimate them, and that I celebrate what makes them different because that is also what makes them unique & beautiful. 

I'll cheer my team on against Notre Dame Sunday, and will be filled with pride no matter the outcome.  And Monday I'll be back at work. I want to make it a point to cheer my students on, as well. No matter the outcome, our students need to know we believe in them, we stand with them, and we are not counting them out. 

#AxeEm

Stephen. F. Austin fountain at SFA

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Ugh. Just ugh.

Nothing was going right. I felt anxious, my stomach beginning to knot up, knowing that everything was falling apart. All these volunteers (bless 'em) had come in to read to the children (why on earth they brought the little ones to the high school was beyond me) but in doing so they managed to ravage my shelves and even my supplies.  Carnage was left in their wake, and my heart sank knowing I would be the one left to clean it all up.  No one was even listening to me.  I was shouting into the wind.  

In their mad hunt for supplies, they managed to knock over most of my personal belongings and my car keys were lost in the shuffle.  I wanted to cry, but I just called my husband instead.  He picked me up, and since it was Friday, I decided to come try to dig for my car keys the next morning when the place would be blessedly empty and I could think. 

Stupid, stupid me.  When we pulled up in the parking lot (which weirdly required trying to navigate an incredibly steep uphill climb) I realized that something was definitely going on, although I wasn't quite sure what it was. I asked the first kid I came to--and found that the school was holding a pep rally send-off for all the students who finally passed their EOC (end of course) exams before loading them up for a trip to a waterpark.  Even the band kids who didn't get to go to Hawaii were there--sans uniforms, of course. I mean, uniforms would be dumb.  

Glancing up I saw my assistant--who hadn't shown up to work all week--was there dressed for the waterpark, complete with her ducky lifesaver on.  I walked up and, trying to smile, asked her what she was doing. She curtly informed me that one of our student library aides had invited her to go to the waterpark, too, and she "certainly wasn't gonna miss that." 

My weirdly calm-yet-not-serene smile set in place, I just nodded and walked off, fuming inside.  At this point, I realized I hadn't dressed appropriately to see all these people.  Crappit!--was I even wearing my pants? Trying not to panic, I glanced down quickly.  I was carrying a very full--nearly overflowing, very heavy box  and, yes, thank goodness, I saw that at least I was wearing pants. True, they were skin-tight pajamas that resemble jeans but are actually leggings, but at least my bum was covered.  

Often waking is more jarring than going to sleep, but in this instance, I was greatly relieved to leave my dream state.  I'm guessing my subconscious is fully aware that spring break is winding down and a bit of back-to-work anxiety is creeping in!

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Shenanigans & Malarkey

There once was a gal from Nacogdoches

Whose last week was flippin' atrocious

So over spring break, she napped and she ate,

And it feels less likely she'll choke us.

Irish stew on the stovetop and soda bread in the oven.  Wearing green upon green upon green.

Happy St. Paddy's Day, y'all!

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Creatively Dabbling

I've been creatively dabbling* today and having a ball.  This particular dabble was inspired by a few events, as things often are, but the final push to actually move from just thinking about it to actually doing it came at a book club meeting a couple of weeks ago.  

My high school book club is a dream.  I tried to hold one last year, but the timing felt impossible, so although many kids were interested it got tabled and tweaked for this year.  This year, once Mega-Lunch started (that's a whole other post for a whole other day) I signed us up.  We meet every Tuesday during A lunch on the top floor of the library.  One of my senior library assistants basically runs it (he appointed himself President, and then appointed a VP, Sec. and Sargeant-at-Arms which cracks me up in the best way, y'all!) but I'm there to guide us back on track when the need arises.  

We recently read & discussed Jennifer Niven's All the Bright Places, and during that conversation, it came up that all of us like finding things in books.  We like writing in books, too (if we own them personally!) and marking things that make us think or feel something important. Sometimes we just like the way the sentence is so lyrically written, and it feels good to all of us to acknowledge those moments in the book in some way. 

Instantly this revelation paired up in my head with all I've seen about Operation Beautiful, writing nice things on sticky notes for others to find** and an idea was born. 

I found some clearance-priced artist trading cards at Hobby Lobby last week and bought a bunch of 'em and today have made time to start doodling simple but nice messages on them.  It is just a start, but it is a start.  I thought I'd make a few to get the book club started, and let the kids each take some to make, too.  We'll add some on actual sticky notes, some with specific book quotes, etc. and maybe even a few Easter Eggs (the gamer definition) that folks can bring to the circ desk to get some little prize.  We'll have fun, it will be interactive, and I think it will bring some smiles. 

*Becca's blog introduced me to this term.  If I don't have a creative outlet I get cranky, but I tend towards perfectionism for myself, so it helps me move past that roadblock into actually doing when I remember I am a dabbler and don't have to be "perfect".  :)

**okay, so here's something funny--in the messages on the Operation Beautiful website there is a comment from a librarian bemoaning the fact that someone put sticky notes w/ lovely messages in tons of library books, wasting valuable time and taxpayer money for her to have to go back in and pull them all out.  Um...I'm sure they had their reasons, and maybe there is more to the story, and perhaps it is because I work at a high school, so I am particularly used to shenanigans (and am the Head Shenanigator, in fact), but in any case, I love this idea.  

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Grateful

Today's list of simple gratitudes:

1. Green Tea bath soap.  It just smells so clean and delicious, y'all. 
2. Walking through the gorgeous azalea gardens this time of year.  
3. Rewatching my comfort movies like Harry Potter, When Harry Met Sally, and Legally Blonde.
4. A great mug of coffee.  (H.E.B. brand San Antonio blend, whole bean is my fave).
5. Curling up with a good book on a rainy day (I am totally prepared and ready for the weather that is scheduled to hit us Thursday with a few great reads to choose from!)
6. Time with my family.  We never fail to laugh when we are together. 
7. Snuggles with my little.  
8. Sonic Happy Hour (2-4, y'all, and their blackberry tea is greatness)
9. Willie Nelson duets. I have a weirdly wide range of musical interests, but Willie's voice never fails to soothe me. It reminds me of my era of living in an old neighborhood with artists & writers & musicians and we'd just all congregate in a front yard and soon there would be several folks pickin' and singin' and yummy food and laughter and watching kids play & fireflies dance. Life seemed so simple and sure.  Check out this one with Dolly Parton.
10. Free MOOCs.  I'm taking a cool genealogy course based at a Scottish university right now.  I think it is amazing to be able to connect with folks all over the world based on shared interests and to learn something.  And, FREE, y'all.  

taken today at the gardens

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

A beautiful Monday

I have successfully slothed my way through the first weekend of spring break.  Now that we are in the actually "work week" phase, I am feeling refreshed enough to move from sloth to slacker.  I did make a Wal-Mart run today, so I feel like I accomplished something.  

Pardon the bragging, but I also did a couple loads of both laundry & dishes and gave daughter-the-youngest a bath, so honestly if I do much more today I'm afraid I'll over-exert and then where would we be?   Best to start slow. Wouldn't want to pull a muscle or anything.

I thought about working in the yard but then thought better of it.  It hit 90 here today, and I'm pretty sure I would have fallen flat out had I exerted in this sticky heat, y'all. I'll just refill my mason jar with some iced sweet tea and get lost in a book. Yep, that's what I'll do.

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Wise Women

There's a little local place here my friends and I like to visit.  Tin roof, cement floors, great burgers and often live music.  My writers group used to meet here, but we haven't met in a while. I didn't realize how much I missed it until just recently. 

It isn't just the writers I've missed, to be perfectly honest, although I do miss them.  It is the gathering together of a group of wise women--a sisterhood that laughs together and shares hardships together and creates and celebrates one another.  I miss that. I think it is hard for women to remember that we need each other in the midst of our busyness, and in the midst of being all things to all people in our lives.  We forget.

I'm bad about forgetting this, so the universe has been sending me very specific reminders lately. The universe tends to do that when I'm too thick to pick up little hints.  

I've never been much of a joiner, and growing up most of my friends were guys.  I have had a core group of women friends since I was in elementary school, but I've always been a bit of an outlier in the group to tell the truth.  Then, in my 20's I met this soul-sisterhood and it rocked my world in the best ways.  These women were amazing and funny and brilliant and creative and dreamers.  I was still a bit of an outlier, but I loved this group.  And then I moved.

I found a beautiful new group of women who supported one another and laughed and shopped and cried and created and dreamed together.  And then I moved. 

I have now lived in my home for nearly 15 years.  In the beginning, I had that here, too.  And then off and on again through the last few years.  More off than on as life became busy with grad school and children and job change.  

And now I am settled once more with those major life shifts and I am feeling that call for my sisters; my group of wise women.  Tonight I made the first step towards reclaiming it.  Dinner, not with my writers group, but with one of my lovely friends from that group.  We laughed and shared our challenges and our victories and ate wonderful food.  It was just what the universe had been whispering to me to do.

I'm listening, Universe.  Listening, and now making it happen. 

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Deliciously Lazy

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Today has been deliciously lazy. Utterly, fabulously, deliciously lazy.  I slept late and I took a nap. No shame in my game, friends---I needed this.

One of the things I'm trying to be better at is recognizing what my body is trying to tell me, actually listening to it, and then making it happen.  I grew up in a family that was from the never-stop-striving end of the spectrum, which has its merits, but I have found that I must have intentional down time in order to perform at my best.

Today I have made beautiful simple meals for my family.  I have played dolls with daughter-the-youngest, I have laughed heartily with both girls, and I have rested.  WE have rested.  We are not rushing around packing. We are not rushing to get anywhere. We are resting & playing and I am more at peace than I have been in quite a while.

The only plans I've made for tomorrow involve having dinner with a dear friend; some much needed soul-nourishing girlfriend time. 

I have books and journals with empty pages for when the mood strikes.  I have some new honey-lavender tea and a recipe for scones I'd like to try at some point.  My hubby got some movies from the Redbox and we have popcorn at the ready.  

Life is sooooo good.  

made it!

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Spring Break is officially here!
Woot! Woot!
I made it!

Cookie Money

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

You might not be able to totally understand the level of relief I will feel at tonight's Girl Scout meeting when I hand over my two daughters' cookie money, but man, I cannot WAIT.

This is year 7 with Girl Scouting for my oldest, and I've been her troop leader the entire time. Daughter-the-youngest is in year 2, and she is sort-of in my big girl troop, too, but mostly we just Juliette activities.  (for you non-Girl Scouts that means we kind of do things on our own.)

Y'all, I am OVER selling cookies.
I love to eat them.
I love my girls.
I love my troop girls.
AND...I am OVER selling cookies. 

I think it really started a few years back when we had a nasty old lady scream at my sweet little girls about "supporting a lesbian agenda" as we stood in front of the local Wal-Mart with our cookie booth. Seriously?  My girls were all about 8 or 9.  We were just trying to learn the art of selling to support our troop travel and craft goals.  The only agenda we were supporting was, perhaps, that of Weight Watchers after a few too many Thin Mints.  (yes, they are addictive, yes they DO freeze well, and they really SHOULD make you THIN if they are going to call themselves that, don'tcha think?) Ugh. A seriously unpleasant and unnecessary event that happened and threw a pall over cookie season.

And then my girls grew up.  Middle school girls just cannot sell cookies like the little bitties can, y'all. All the babies have to do is smile and bat their eyes, really.  My older girls are just over it, too, to tell the truth. 

But...we want to go on a European trip. That costs money.  We can only do extra fund-raising if our troop participates in the fall product & cookie sales.  I get it.  Life lessons.  

And so, we do what we have to do.  I'm ready to hang my cookie money-holder hat up for the year and I could not be more thrilled that in just about 15 minutes I'll get to do just that. 

Finding my roots

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

One of my favorite shows on TV is Finding Your Roots.  Henry Louis Gates hosts a family history show with celebrities and uses both traditional genealogy methods and DNA tests to give the guests information on their family tree.

It is powerful.  Last night's episode included Dustin Hoffman.  Seeing how moved Mr. Hoffman became with the revelations he learned was poignant and inspiring. 

I thought a lot about that episode today. 

I know that working on my own family tree has given me such a sense of purpose and connection. Perhaps it sounds a bit over-the-top, but knowing these connections just makes everything make more sense to me.  History is real in a way that it never was before, no longer just dates with corresponding names of battles.

I also thought about this when I did a read-aloud to seniors this week.  I read the first chapter of Catcher in the Rye to two different classes of senior AP English.  After reading (I got applause!) I mentioned that one reason I love this book is that it makes my parents/grandparents seem more real in a way. I mean, I know they're real---but that folks living in different ages throughout history were more than faces in sepia photos and paragraphs in dusty books. Published in 1946, it shows that we haven't really changed all that much. It connects us through our similarities (and disdain for phonies.) 

So today I remind myself that I descend from Viking kings and Highland warriors. My people kept moving and seeking and did.not.stop. no matter the odds. 

I remind myself that my OLW is INVICTUS and that I chose it based on my knowledge of my family history. If you've read my other posts this week, you know it has been a bit of a tough one, but...

I will not be defeated.

I remain unconquered. 

I am connected to those who came before me. 

I am here because they carried on despite any obstacles. 

The blood in my very veins carries the strength of centuries.

I'm ready to carpe diem the heck out of the next two days before spring break, y'all.  I'm back.

Is it spring break yet?

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

I have been stuck with a crappy situation given the opportunity for some creative problem-solving recently. I'm trying not to have a total breakdown about it to really think outside the box to find possible solutions.

Have you ever had a situation that works well for the vast majority of folks involved, so you know you are going to have to find a way to get happy in the same britches you got mad in?  Well, that is exactly where I'm finding myself. 

I won't go into details about it, but I'm hoping that some R&R over the coming spring break (please Lord, let me make it till Friday) will help me to clear the cobwebs and really get creative finding a new way to work this situation so that I am not stuck in a continuous survival mode.  That just isn't a place I'm willing to stay. 

I'm a firm believer in having fun doing what you are doing.  Life is too short to put up with being stressed and I am in charge of my own happiness, so that's that. Now let's hope that I can think more clearly and creatively this time next week than I'm currently capable of doing so that I can make some very necessary changes. 

Music Mondays

Monday.
Ah, Monday. You are not my favorite day. I love my job and it's still hard to get revved up for Mondays. Especially when I'm still mourning the loss of my Downton.  Especially when the clouds are gray and the winds are strong.  Especially with spring break a week out.

The Facebook message from my lovely assistant letting me know she'd be out sick today didn't help either, I'm afraid.

It was a decent day for a Monday.  Good, even.  I got to read aloud to 2 of my senior classes (by special request of some of the seniors which made it even more fun!) and daughter-the-eldest packed my lunch for me (my favorite Amy's tomato bisque soup with some sharp cheddar and ritz to the side) and I had some lovely bookish conversations.

The pace, however, was manic.

Music helps.  I've created a Monday playlist on my Spotify.  All the songs mention Monday in them, just for kicks.  I'll add more to it as I can, but for now, feel free to enjoy about an hour of Monday Music and tell me what you think.

Celebrating him -- Slice of Life: Day 6

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info

Today is my husband's birthday.  He is out for a long morning run and I'm on the couch drinking my favorite coffee as I ponder exactly what to write for today's slice. The girls are, thankfully, still asleep. 

Jeff and I have been married for 17 years.  We re-met at our 10-year high school reunion.  We lived across the street from each other when we were 8. He gets me & I get him.

I am so grateful for this man who makes me laugh, who loves me even when I'm a cranky monkey, who doesn't try to change me.  He is ever steady and loyal and true.  He is a reader & a ponderer. His laughter fills the room. His eyes sparkle with mischief. He loves the woods.

So, happy, happy birthday to my fella that I love ever so much. 

Dabbling in the Creative

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

Daughter-the-eldest has a history project due Wednesday.  It is a multi-part project that includes researching various waves of immigration into Texas, learning about specific cultures, creating a diary as if she was the person coming over, making a dish from her assigned culture, and inserting a small family tree. 

It is a really cool project.  

It required a trip to our Hobby Lobby this evening to get all the supplies to make a creative "diary". She has a very specific and usually not cheap vision for most projects like this.  I can't complain too much--she gets that from me.  We spent two hours in that place with her excitedly gathering just the right supplies---and with me attempting to temper her a tinge so as not to spend down to the last dime in the coffers.  

While there, I found artist card packs on clearance.  I bought several packs to fulfill one of my latest creative visions--one I'll share in another post.  I'm doing my best to make time for creating again.  I am a better me when I dabble in the creative. I am not as good about making time for these pursuits during the school year as I am during the summer months, but I'm a work in progress. 

Hard Talk

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

He stands at my desk, leaning on the counter. 

He is one of my regulars, although he isn't much for reading. 

The library is his safe place, his second home. 

I can tell he is not okay. 

Quiet.  He says, "I need to tell you something."

"But I can't tell you, tell you. Here--read my phone."

He texts something in and then turns the phone to face me.

We are expecting, it reads. 

I blink, trying to keep a poker face. 

His eyes welling with tears now, he just looks at me. 

I'm not quite sure what to say. 

So many thoughts are running through my head.

You're so young. You're both so damn young. 

And this is going to make your lives much more complicated. 

And none of this is what he needs to hear right now. 

I ask him if they've told their folks. 

"Last night, " he says, his voice a whisper. 

"And I wanted you to know.  I wanted to be the one to tell you." 

He is one of my school "sons". 

I am heartbroken for him--and for her.  

I pause and breathe for a bit. 

And then tell him it will be hard, but he--they--will be okay. 

That I would have chosen different timing for them if I were in charge of the world, 

But most things in life have a way of working themselves out--even the difficult things.

He smiles through his tears and thanks me for believing in them.

He tells me he mostly hates that he has hurt and disappointed people he loves. 

"It is time for me to be a man now," he says. "I guess it's time for me to grow up." 

awakened

This month I will participate in the Slice of Life Challenge!

My goal is to Write. Share. Give. each & every day of March.  

Check out Two Writing Teachers for more info!

I was awakened out of a dead sleep in the wee hours of the morning--about 3:00 am--by the sound of a woman screaming.  In those strange surreal first moments, I wasn't quite sure if it happened solely in my dream, or if I had actually heard something.  

And then the wild screeching scream sounded again.  Awake, I know without a doubt what I heard. There is an unmistakable eerie haunting sound that a bobcat makes.  Once you've experienced it, you never forget it.  

This wasn't happening in the far-off woods, folks.  This cat was right outside our bedroom window. I jumped up, and banged on the window with three rapid strong beats----and the noise stopped.  I didn't hear it again the rest of the night. (okay, so the woods aren't far off--until the logging trucks showed up a few months back we had a lovely woods right beside our house that now resembles a war-torn cornfield---but you get my meaning.)

Daughter the eldest mentioned she heard a child screaming the other night. Honestly, I just thought she was dreaming.   She has a history of very intense, vivid dreams.  I suppose the thought that it could be more crossed my mind briefly, but I pushed it aside with a "don't be silly" thought. I know better now. 

We've lived here 15 years and never in that time have we had such close encounters with these large creatures in our neighborhood.  

It is unsettling.